Its Sunday night updating my blog and thought that I needed to vent. Allthough I'm not one to spill my inner feelings often, I decided to share it with all. Brian is gone on a Business trip and so I'm left alone here in the house with only Bella. St. George is feeling more like home every day. Moving here was a challenge for me at first because that ment starting over somewhere new. The job market was hard to get into but now I am happy and settled in my job(most of the time) and have made some really good friends here that I have the feeling will be mine for a lifetime.
Recently we moved to a new ward and we are the youngest couple in there. It was a change because I had gotten used to our college ward and all the friends there. With being the youngest in the ward, we are the only ones that don't have children. Brian and I have been trying to have kids for about a year, and have had some complications. So for the first couple of times going, I have left Church feeling down in the dumps. I then get over it and move on... so with that said I have been down with feelings of self pitty and discouragement.... I felt so sick of going to the doctors, not having any family around, and no really close friends to turn to or talk to....
But today was a revelation to me... I started to realize that my heavenly father loves and that he knows what is best for me. I started to count my blessings and not feel so bad for myself. Life is so GOOD! I have been wasting so much time worrying about my health and my future! I now have been enjoying time RIGHT NOW! and life is so much better this way! I'm so excited to enjoy this time with Brian and am so blessed for his love and understanding to me.
Someone once told me before I got married that "The person you marry will decide on your future happines.." I agree and am so glad I married the right guy that is so smart and talented. I'm so excited for the upcoming year... I have a feeling its going to be a good one:)
Oh Jess, I just love you. I am sorry you've been down, but I'm so happy that you are finding joy in your life and that you have such an awesome husband. Tell Brian we said hi, by the way. :)
ReplyDeleteI'll keep you guys in our prayers. I know you'll be an amazing mother!
Also, you are gorgeous.
And next time you are near Provo and Salt Lake I'd love to have you both over for dinner. If we are ever in your area I will surely let you know! Miss you, roomie (even though I was a grumpy roommate most of the time... :).
good for you, jess!
ReplyDeletei know how hard it is to wait for a baby.
this is going to sound cliche, but it's so true...the wait will be worth it and will make it so much more special.
there's a plan for you.
love you girl.
Oh jessica I miss you! when we first moved to tucson i went from the singles ward with everyone being my age to an older ward. It was HARD. especially just being baptized it was even harder,but it really made me go to church for the right reasons, nothing social, and I payed attention and learned a lot during that time. Older wards have so much to learn from and things you can learn as your do start a family:) p.s. i had no idea you guys were trying! in situations like these its comforting to know someone else ( heavenly Father) decides when it happens. that lets us know for sure when the time is right and He knows what will bring us the greatest joy:) and hey at leaste trying is fun right? sorry, bad humor! love ya!
ReplyDeleteHey its always hard moving to a new place but it's nice when it starts to feel like home. We are also the youngest in our ward but most are in thier 80's and 90's so they all have great-grandkids. Anyway, I'm sure it's hard to try for so long but everything will work out and I'm glad your so optimistic about it!! And when the time comes, I know you'll be a great mom!
ReplyDeleteFirst happy belated birthday! :) This post made me cry- serisouly i feel the same way so much and then i just kind of have an aha moment like you talked about when i realize how blessed i really am and that focusing on the bad stuff only makes me miserable! Attitude is everything :) Also, i totally gained like 10 lbs too and i could never get rid of it and then i had Halle and all hope is lost :) ha ha ha. you'll be in my prayers! love you lots
ReplyDeleteFirst of all you look FABULOUS! You are so beautiful in all your pictures.
ReplyDelete2nd, I know just how you feel! It is awful being so far away from family! Although I have a couple of good friends out here, it is just not the same as having the friends you grew up with by you. I just take as many trips home as I can!
Oh my gosh the pic of your dog in a snuggie was hilarious!!!! I needed a good laugh! Love ya, hope we can get together soon...I will be in mesa march 18 to april 18. Any chance you will be visiting?
what????so when did you go blond?? you little sneaker- that is what i call my kids-- so glad you changed your mind on being down in the dumps- dont worry- i get there all the time too- but i hope you are making some great friends in st g. know that i am always there for you- even if mesa is too far- a phone call(preferably after the kids are in bed---and not screaming)...is always just a phone call away- love you sis
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind me reading your blog. I thought this was you. I found it from Dallas and Eric's blog. I know how you feel. When we moved into the ward we were the youngest couple. In fact I think I might be the same age as you maybe younger. Anyway, that doesn't matter... We had Liv the day after we moved in and are just now feeling like we fit in with all the families with kids. The only way I started feeling like we fit in was I had to make the effort. I'm not saying you're not making the effort- not at all. It's hard to meet new people and be in a new ward. It took me two years after all- All I mean is I would like to get to know you and am here if you want to go walking or running, or go on a girl's night. -Allison
ReplyDelete